Yelling things out in the auditorium

One of Josh and Jared's favorite activities was yelling things out in the school auditorium just as the lights were going down before a performance.

Sure, it may have been poor audience etiquette, but after a while they had simply stopped caring. Something about how you needed to give respect to earn it… and the school had definitely not given them any respect.

As soon as the lights dimmed, they'd scream, moan loudly, or yell out things like “weewee,” “stop touching me!” or — a favorite — “come on, Steven!” (as they cheered on an imaginary actor named Steven in a whiny, lispy voice). They might also tap a neighbor on the shoulder without looking, throw a harmless object, or, if there was applause, try to be the last ones to finish clapping.

No one seemed to care, least of all their teachers.

Once, an upperclassman named Paul T. was sitting in the row in front of them. As the auditorium lights lowered, Jared called out, “Hey Jamal!” to no one in particular.

Paul heard him and must've thought he was calling his name. “What?” he replied, without turning around.

“You got my money?” Jared asked, improvising. (Remember, he was like 16.)

“No,” said Paul smoothly, as though he had had this conversation a hundred times before. He still hadn't turned around.

“Okay,” Jared finished quietly, not sure of exactly what had just transpired.

***

Back in the black box, when the class would perform scenes, the audience would be shrouded in darkness. This was akin to a little auditorium, and Josh had a particular move he loved to make. When a performing classmate would bend over or stretch their leg in an odd direction, he'd let out a pitch-perfect fart vocal sound effect. He was so smooth with it that no one other than Jared could distinguish it from the real thing.

Contrast this with Jared, who would constantly let out a deluge of noises at all times, hoping for any one of them to land. He'd look around, desperate for a laugh. Rarely, he got some.

Actually, it was the combination of Josh's quality and Jared's quantity that made the guys the silly force for yelling things out that they were. There was absolutely no point to it other than for their own sick amusement.  ❒

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